I choose joy.

I’ve been writing a lot lately about applying my revelations to my everyday life and most days there’s a 50/50 chance I’ve succeeded. I’m still making my way up that hill, but sometimes there’s a glorious bench off the path calling to me. If I didn’t take a seat, it’d be rude. Plus, I’m not a big fan of the exercise. Who is? Personal growth is hard.

I’ve been talking about working out and getting in shape, blah, blah, blah. It’s the doing that’s a little more challenging. I set a schedule for my alarm to go off at 8 AM every morning. If there’s an annoying buzzing in my ear I’m bound to get up. Then I remembered I’m a mother and we have a superpower that tells us the difference between a real or fake cry. I’m awake long enough to ensure safety then I’m out, at least until a child stomps on my face. Continue reading “I choose joy.”

Mirror, mirror……You got me.

I don’t know about you, but I have an interesting relationship with mirrors.  There are some days when we are best friends and those, of course, are the days when it tells me how thin, beautiful, kind and level-headed I am.  There are other days when all I want to do is hurt it.  I imagine doing something like throwing my hand into it or putting a sheet over it.

I’m realizing, lately, that the problem I have isn’t really with a reflective inanimate object.  To be honest, I would have preferred that problem to the one I actually have: the problem with myself.   I’m getting deep here – metaphorical and real mirrors, people.  Am I alone in this?

The worse my attitude is the less appealing my body appears to me.  It’s not something I ever thought to put together.  There are days when I wake up well rested-ish (I was going to say well rested, but that doesn’t really happen to parents), I have my coffee in hand and it’s drunk while still hot, my face is good and clear, my kids aren’t fighting and I get to work on time.  On those days, it’s a pretty good bet I’m going to feel and act great for most of the day.   Now, if my coffee spills, or my kids are stressing me out, or work has gotten away from me,  my attitude shifts and BAM; there goes everyone’s day.

It gets worse if my good fitting pants are in the wash and the only shirts I have left are loose and/or ratty. Those are the moments that I know the world is ending. Continue reading “Mirror, mirror……You got me.”

You might be a parent if…..

1.   Someone asks you if you know the name to that song, but all of your guesses involve Daniel Tiger or the ABCs.  Remember when you used to know the title of every song and artist on the radio?  Luckily you still know those songs.  Unluckily, they are no longer in vogue.  I get a lot of, “Who is that?  Never heard of them.”  The only new songs you know are sung by children and/or animals.  Fake animals.  You aren’t that far removed.  I hope. Continue reading “You might be a parent if…..”

They were meant to be courageous….And so much more.

Did you know that today is a holiday?  Well, technically not.  Much like mother’s day, if I haven’t gone to sleep yet I’m counting it.  It’s even celebrated in 59 countries.  I know that because I looked it up on Wikipedia and everything on Wikipedia is 1000% truth. Continue reading “They were meant to be courageous….And so much more.”

Freedom! Sort of.

I am officially the mother of a preschool graduate.  I have a whole lot of emotions about this (sadness, pride, joy), but I think the one that stands out the most is excitement.  There are some parents that may dread summer break (maybe once my kids are older I’ll hit that point), but not me.  Summer break means not having to wake up at the crack of dawn to get my tired preschooler ready and out the door 20 minutes late.  Yeah, I said 20 minutes late.

Friday was a normal day off from school, but since my husband woke up with the girls, I’m counting it as day 1 of summer vacay.  Yes, vacay; this break is turning me into a tween.  I laid in bed until 11 AM.  11 AM, people!  It. Was. Glorious.    I have this beautiful vision of waking up at 10 every morning to the birds tweeting and my children singing love songs to me.  I felt so great getting up.  Then I realized how much my body hurt from the awkward position I laid in for so long.  But, hey, that’s not bad – I was in bed until 11 AM.  11 AM; if I stop saying it, it’ll become more like a dream. Continue reading “Freedom! Sort of.”

Honor and sacrifice, it’s in the job description.

So, it’s mother’s day.  I’m a mom.  What would happen if I didn’t post a mother’s day post? Granted it’s technically not mother’s day anymore, but if I haven’t gone to sleep I’m still counting it.  Could I be sleeping right now?  Probably.  The better question is, should I be sleeping right now; the answer is yes.  Yes I should be sleeping.  I just couldn’t go to bed, though, without sending a message to all those Moms out there.

When I say Moms, I mean mothers of every medium.  Adoptive mothers, foster mothers, expecting mothers, grandmothers, new mothers, veteran mothers, MOPS – I’m talking about all of you.

I think that it’s hard to be a mom these days.  Well, let’s be real.  It’s probably always been hard to be a mom.  I mean, what in the world did mothers do – how did they cope before coffee and PBS Kids?  I don’t think I could survive without it.  I certainly couldn’t speak without that morning cup.  I don’t think I could ever get anything done without those kids shows.  I’m thinking of a time when mothers managed to churn their own butter, sew their own clothes, milk their own cows, comfort and care for their children, cook every meal for their families all without a vehicle, electricity and coffee.  How did they do it?  Those were some tough chicks. Continue reading “Honor and sacrifice, it’s in the job description.”

Nobody’s fool

Apparently, today is April Fool’s day.  Am I the only person that never notices when that day is here?  What I do know is that it’s a Wednesday.  I know that we are exactly halfway through my 4 YO’s spring break.  As I slam my 10 oz of It Works greens (that I’ve had ready to go since I made my morning coffee) at 10 at night, as my 4 YO is still randomly shouting from her bed for me (while trying to convince me that she is, in fact, sleeping) and I have only gotten to page 97 of my book’s corrected proof, I find that it is both bitter and sweet.  It has been so nice to spend this time with her.  To share in some firsts with her and give her special treatment – what kid on vacation doesn’t want special treatments and activities?  Heck, I still want that when it’s the weekend.  *Hey, hun, can I go sleep over at Tiffany’s?  Her husband said it was okay!* *Followed by the most un-hide-able panicked face my husband has ever made.*  I miss all that time I got to spend with her before she started school.  It’s probably why I’m at her school so much.  I just miss her.

Along with all that sweet is the bitter.  All the work that I didn’t get done yet promised I would.  See, on St. Patrick’s day (it’s only fitting since I am Irish – among other things, but I don’t claim them very often, if ever) my mom and I officially became Tate Publishing’s newest authors.  I come from a food-oriented family and my mom is the best cook I know.  We decided to write a cookbook to fill our gluten free diet. I couldn’t write the cookbook without her.  We teamed up, and it took us 3.5 years to sign with a publishing company and an additional 6 months (so 4 years total) to get the manuscript into our publisher.  That happened in September.  We are currently in the final phase (of 5), approving the proof.

We got the second proof back on Friday.  Yeah, that Friday. Continue reading “Nobody’s fool”

No vacations here.

My 4 year old is having her very first spring break.  At first I thought, “She’s 4, this time off from school won’t even phase her.”  Honestly, I didn’t really think she’d notice.  The unofficial day of spring break fell on a natural school free day – Friday.  I had been fantasizing about that day all week.  No waking up at 7 AM for a whole 10 days (turns out I wasn’t wrong there, it just didn’t happen the way I’d hoped), coffee can be had as soon as I get up and I’ll be able to drink it without interruption; it’s spring break – everyone, including the baby, is going to take the opportunity to sleep in and be well rested which will cause us all to relax and be nice and calm.  On top of that, we’re going to get along so well that my 4 YO and I won’t fight or argue.  She is just going to be so excited to be with me all day long that she will obey every rule and be perfectly behaved at every turn.  I see the irony in that statement when I think of the last blog post I wrote.  It’s not lost on me.

Turns out she did miss me.  Missed me so much that she had an overwhelming urge to creep into my room, tapping me on the forehead whispering “mom,” in that non-quiet preschooler voice, until I woke up.  “Mom, mom, MOM,” she loudly whispers.  “Is it time to wake up yet?”  I was disappointed at what I thought was being woken up at her typical 7:30; maybe it would take a couple of days to adjust to her sleep-in schedule.  Bleary-eyed I looked over at the clock on my phone and saw that it was 5:25 AM.  I’m sorry, 5:25 AM?  I just wanted to shout, “Do you know how beautiful sleep is?  How precious Spring Break is to school kids?  5:25???”  Instead, I held back that irritation and said, “What?  No!  It’s 5:25 in the morning!  Go back to sleep!  This is just-I-it’s too early!”  Okay, so maybe I didn’t hold back entirely, but c’mon! Continue reading “No vacations here.”