It didn’t take long to become a failure.

At this point in my life I’m a pretty sarcastic person. I think I’m hilarious. Hysterical, even. A riot. See what I did there? I’m can also be seen as a cocky person, but it’s always sarcastically cocky. There are a few who think I’m sincerely cocky. A few who think I feel I’m better than most. There are a few who think I’m judgmental, probably because my sarcasm as viewed as something truthful instead of the joke it was intended to be.  Or maybe I do something else to offend them.  I really don’t know.

No matter what people are saying or thinking about me, it’s got nothing on what I feel for myself. We’re the hardest on ourselves, aren’t we?  If you’ve read my last post, you know how I’ve struggled with hatred toward myself.  I may not have said it explicitly, but the hatred was usually for me.  Even now, I find a lot of things about myself that I associate with failure. Like it’s just part of who I am – a failure. Continue reading “It didn’t take long to become a failure.”

Marriage is a work in progress.

Marriage is beautiful.  It’s rainbows and sunshine.  It’s simple.  It’s very cut and dry.  Getting married  automatically instills open communication in the two people getting married.  It causes the two people to be so changed as to become perfection in the relationship.  It’s angels singing and endless smiles.

I’m sorry.

Give me a minute.

Gotta control the laughter and catch my breath.

If these are lines anyone has every fed you, they are so very misguided.  Sure, those are all partial truths, but not complete truths.  Marriage is beautiful, but not for the reasons listed above.  Parts of it are simple (and cut and dry) but we are complex in nature, joining with another person is bound to be complex as well.  The open communication comes with hard work – a lot of hard work.  Marriage changes us, yes, but not always in the way that we think.  There are moments – so many moments – when it seems like everything is perfect and you swear you can hear angels singing, but those are moments to look for and try to attain.  They aren’t constant and they aren’t necessarily the norm. Continue reading “Marriage is a work in progress.”

Shades of something.

I’m sure that it wouldn’t take much for you to figure out what this post is about.  I mean, everyone and their brother has written about it; their brother, their brother’s friend, the friend’s cousin, the cousin’s sister, the sister’s mom – you get the picture.

In the interest of full disclosure I need to preface this by saying that I didn’t do any sort of in-depth research on the subject.  I have watched interviews with the author and cast of the movie.  I’ve read excerpts from the book and clips from the movie.  I’ve read articles for and against the books and movie(s).  I’ve talked to friends who both like and dislike the series.

What I see a lot of is people saying that it’s a love story.  A tale of two people who meet and fall so madly in love that it hurts to be apart.  How romantic it is to have these consensual relations that gratify a person (yes, that was meant to be singular).  An instance of a woman allowing this man to have a relationship in his brokenness – how brave, how courageous of her. Continue reading “Shades of something.”

Let’s talk about sex.

That’s probably going to be the most popular tag line I’ve ever come up with; that can be both good and bad.  Obviously I can’t get that stupid, horrible song out of my head now, which is bad.  The bad could also be that you saw the tag line and clicked on it for all the wrong reasons.  Of course, the good is that no matter the reason for clicking on it, you will actually read what I have to say (hopefully – I don’t just write to hear myself……..write…?). Continue reading “Let’s talk about sex.”