Fear is Gray

Have you ever found yourself afraid of something and no matter how much logic was spoken to it or how much you dealt with it, it never really went away? So often we think of fear as black or white. You are afraid or not afraid. The fear is what it presents itself as, nothing hidden.

When I was a kid, I found myself afraid of so many things. I would hear and see things in my room and around my room at night. Often I was too afraid to sleep. When I did sleep I would have nightmares. I was afraid of being weak, physically and emotionally. We tried to explain every fear away, but none of the explanations worked, so I continued to fear.

The explanations never worked because we never got to the root of any of the issues.

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Leaves of Fire

I love fall. I love everything about it; I love the apple cider, pumpkin everything, the color of the leaves, the smell of the wind. It’s almost always the perfect temperature outside. Jeans and hoodies make a fashion comeback, what’s not to love?

It’s also the most abrupt change of seasons. One day, everything is green and lush, and the next all the trees have turned to beautiful colors of fire. Blink and you’ve missed your opportunity to hike through the nature trails to enjoy the colors. Even with winter, the cold temperatures ease into the eventual snow, and it eases out. I realize that doesn’t always hold true in the midwest, but that is typically the norm.

We all go through seasons; some are hard and unyielding like winter during the polar vortex. Some seasons bring a relief, a beckoning to return to the outside like spring does. Some seasons are full of busyness that overtakes us like those summer vacation months. Then there are the seasons that see you preparing for something, trying to savor the last bits of something you’re not sure of, like fall.

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