I want you to have an idea of where I come from mentally, so I’ll give you a (hopefully quick-ish) background on me.
Once Upon a Time……
JUST KIDDING. When I was younger I was pretty depressed. I don’t know that it started off with a reason. I was mad about my parents getting divorced, but really, so many people have divorced parents, and they didn’t all make the decisions I did. I’m not saying it didn’t affect me, but I had a choice to make in it. I chose to hate (for a while) my step-dad. I don’t know that I’d call it easier (do you have any idea how much energy goes into actively hating or even despising someone?? A hint: a lot.), but it sure did give me an excuse to do and say the things I did. I felt about the same for my step-mom. I can’t even remember being mad at anything or anyone else that affected me except for guys.
I developed quicker than most girls in my grade, and boys picked up on that. There were 3 instances that I can count were I was….violently pressured, sexually, with guys my age. That was in junior high. Continue reading “Who I was is not who I am.”