Marriage is a work in progress.

Marriage is beautiful.  It’s rainbows and sunshine.  It’s simple.  It’s very cut and dry.  Getting married  automatically instills open communication in the two people getting married.  It causes the two people to be so changed as to become perfection in the relationship.  It’s angels singing and endless smiles.

I’m sorry.

Give me a minute.

Gotta control the laughter and catch my breath.

If these are lines anyone has every fed you, they are so very misguided.  Sure, those are all partial truths, but not complete truths.  Marriage is beautiful, but not for the reasons listed above.  Parts of it are simple (and cut and dry) but we are complex in nature, joining with another person is bound to be complex as well.  The open communication comes with hard work – a lot of hard work.  Marriage changes us, yes, but not always in the way that we think.  There are moments – so many moments – when it seems like everything is perfect and you swear you can hear angels singing, but those are moments to look for and try to attain.  They aren’t constant and they aren’t necessarily the norm. Continue reading “Marriage is a work in progress.”

Shades of something.

I’m sure that it wouldn’t take much for you to figure out what this post is about.  I mean, everyone and their brother has written about it; their brother, their brother’s friend, the friend’s cousin, the cousin’s sister, the sister’s mom – you get the picture.

In the interest of full disclosure I need to preface this by saying that I didn’t do any sort of in-depth research on the subject.  I have watched interviews with the author and cast of the movie.  I’ve read excerpts from the book and clips from the movie.  I’ve read articles for and against the books and movie(s).  I’ve talked to friends who both like and dislike the series.

What I see a lot of is people saying that it’s a love story.  A tale of two people who meet and fall so madly in love that it hurts to be apart.  How romantic it is to have these consensual relations that gratify a person (yes, that was meant to be singular).  An instance of a woman allowing this man to have a relationship in his brokenness – how brave, how courageous of her. Continue reading “Shades of something.”

Freedom! Sort of.

I am officially the mother of a preschool graduate.  I have a whole lot of emotions about this (sadness, pride, joy), but I think the one that stands out the most is excitement.  There are some parents that may dread summer break (maybe once my kids are older I’ll hit that point), but not me.  Summer break means not having to wake up at the crack of dawn to get my tired preschooler ready and out the door 20 minutes late.  Yeah, I said 20 minutes late.

Friday was a normal day off from school, but since my husband woke up with the girls, I’m counting it as day 1 of summer vacay.  Yes, vacay; this break is turning me into a tween.  I laid in bed until 11 AM.  11 AM, people!  It. Was. Glorious.    I have this beautiful vision of waking up at 10 every morning to the birds tweeting and my children singing love songs to me.  I felt so great getting up.  Then I realized how much my body hurt from the awkward position I laid in for so long.  But, hey, that’s not bad – I was in bed until 11 AM.  11 AM; if I stop saying it, it’ll become more like a dream. Continue reading “Freedom! Sort of.”

Let’s talk about sex.

That’s probably going to be the most popular tag line I’ve ever come up with; that can be both good and bad.  Obviously I can’t get that stupid, horrible song out of my head now, which is bad.  The bad could also be that you saw the tag line and clicked on it for all the wrong reasons.  Of course, the good is that no matter the reason for clicking on it, you will actually read what I have to say (hopefully – I don’t just write to hear myself……..write…?). Continue reading “Let’s talk about sex.”

Honor and sacrifice, it’s in the job description.

So, it’s mother’s day.  I’m a mom.  What would happen if I didn’t post a mother’s day post? Granted it’s technically not mother’s day anymore, but if I haven’t gone to sleep I’m still counting it.  Could I be sleeping right now?  Probably.  The better question is, should I be sleeping right now; the answer is yes.  Yes I should be sleeping.  I just couldn’t go to bed, though, without sending a message to all those Moms out there.

When I say Moms, I mean mothers of every medium.  Adoptive mothers, foster mothers, expecting mothers, grandmothers, new mothers, veteran mothers, MOPS – I’m talking about all of you.

I think that it’s hard to be a mom these days.  Well, let’s be real.  It’s probably always been hard to be a mom.  I mean, what in the world did mothers do – how did they cope before coffee and PBS Kids?  I don’t think I could survive without it.  I certainly couldn’t speak without that morning cup.  I don’t think I could ever get anything done without those kids shows.  I’m thinking of a time when mothers managed to churn their own butter, sew their own clothes, milk their own cows, comfort and care for their children, cook every meal for their families all without a vehicle, electricity and coffee.  How did they do it?  Those were some tough chicks. Continue reading “Honor and sacrifice, it’s in the job description.”

What is love?

Yes, it was completely intentional that you read that blog title and immediately follow it up with singing to yourself, “baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more.”    While a horribly written sentence, the validity of it is maintained.  Then again, that was probably the point, right?  If you have no idea what I am referencing, I am torn between feeling both sad for you and envious of you.  I am a complex  person, but I’m a generous one:

You’re welcome.  Also, good luck getting that out of your head.

Now that you have that delightful little diddy playing in the background, let’s continue, shall we?  I was reading a blog post the other day by a favorite blogger of mine and she was talking about loving your neighbor.   Reading it got me thinking, do we do that enough?  Do we really do it at all?  Okay, maybe I should change those “we” words to “I.”  I know that I am pretty tolerant and accepting (even if I don’t agree with you, I try to give you respect and grace; and dare I say it, love) of people in general, but is that the same as loving? Continue reading “What is love?”