I attended my first doctor’s appointment alone yesterday. Dave was not really excited about missing the appointment, but I forgot the time until I remembered to look the NIGHT before. He had to work. That was the first (and last, hopefully) doctor’s appointment he has ever missed – in either pregnancy. Kind of sad, but Maya was awesome.
This week, well the past couple of days, has been a little emotional for us – we started the process to see if we are able to enroll Maya in Headstart in September. Dave and I got a little teary….Can’t lie about that. I did make sure that I was allowed in the classroom while Maya was there, haha. I told them I was a little attached. They laughed and let me know it was common. Ha….
I have a gripe for this entry. I am not a touchy-feely person. In prayer, for the most part, I’m okay if I have hands laid on me. When I don’t is when it’s in an inappropriate spot, and that’s not where the Holy Spirit would direct you to lay your hands on me anyway! That’s different. However, as a greeting, I don’t like to hug people. I don’t particularly like to shake sweaty hands with people. I really don’t like kisses on the cheek (freaks me out). Don’t get me wrong, I love people. I love as God loves. I see their value and know that they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. But, that doesn’t mean that I want to touch you. And it really doesn’t mean that I want you to touch me. Pretty much at all. I have a harder time telling people I don’t know that I don’t want to hug them. Sometimes that ends up in me being force-ably pulled into their embrace (no matter the distance between us), but after a time or two I figure out how to get out of it. Then there are my friends that I have no problem telling that I don’t like to be touched nor do I want to touch them. It’s not something for anyone to get offended by and it says nothing of how I feel for you as a person; it’s just the way I am. I like to maintain a physical distance. If I can see you are hurting I will be giving you a hug in comfort, but why do we have to touch all the time? So this is how I feel……….
All of that being said, it is incredibly frustrating and annoying that when someone becomes pregnant that everyone around them thinks their stomach becomes public property. And when you start to show even strangers think that it’s totally normal and okay to touch your belly. Not so. Not ever so. I’m tired of explaining to people that I don’t want them to touch my stomach. Why should I have to defend that to anyone? I don’t want to be touched, I am not your property and you own no claim to my stomach. Why does anyone feel otherwise? I had two instances recently that incited these annoyed feelings.
One was with a friend. I saw them in church and went to say hello and their first response was to reach out and rub (see, it’s not even just touch; people want to rub my stomach……Rub it. That’s way too intimate and……..well, just weird.) my stomach. I stopped their hand and told them nicely that I really didn’t want them to touch it, and they still tried. They even laughed while trying again as if to say, “Silly Maureen, you’re being ridiculous; of course I can rub you.” I had to say again, that really, I didn’t want them to touch it and why did they think it was okay when I was telling them no? Their response? “Because I want to – it’s a baby belly.” I wanted to say, “Is it yours? Is it your baby in there? Is it your baby belly? Okay, then until it is, don’t disrespect me by forcing your own wishes on me when it makes me uncomfortable.” I didn’t say that because, well, they’re my friend. The comment I wanted to say would have been hurtful and rude, and I have no desire to make anyone uncomfortable or hurt. I also will not allow myself to be made uncomfortable. God created me. He put thought into me and how I would be. He took time to choose everything about me. Yes, a lot of who I am is a result of my decisions, but none of that is a surprise to God – He knew it already. Who I am now is who He knew I would be, The fact that I don’t like to touch or be touched is not wrong or sinful. It’s how I am. The Bible does not call us to grope each other – just to love, and I do. Deeply. So what I said instead was, “I’m sorry that you want to, but I don’t and it’s my stomach. I really don’t like it at all when people touch me.” They were taken aback and shocked that someone wouldn’t let them, but I stood my ground and I gave a hug instead – I think I hurt their feelings a bit, and so I made a compromise. So now, it’s sort of a joke that Maureen doesn’t like people to touch her. Most of my friends now respect my wishes and don’t force that on me to which I am very grateful and appreciative.
The other thing that happened – and this one blew my mind – was that two strangers came to my door to sell me something. I always answer the door (unless I’m not dressed appropriately); it’s fun for me to talk to people and be of service. Plus, you never know when I might get the opportunity to show people the love of Christ and that is such an exciting prospect for me! So, I opened my door and one of the girls gave me the intro and then she noticed I was pregnant. She, no joke, reached out her hand to rub (again I say rub) my stomach. I actually had to take a step back to avoid her hand. I didn’t even know her! I don’t even think she gave me her name. Someone please tell me why the fact that I am pregnant – a fact that only directly affects myself and my personal family – gives people a right to grope me?? PLEASE do not say it’s because there’s a baby in there and they want to. I am so sick of hearing that!
All of this makes me sound like a very hard person, but I promise, I’m not. I love people, but I show it in a much different way. I don’t think that it’s right for me to have to conform who I am and do what makes me uncomfortable to suit someone else’s standards. What gets me is that it’s not just that I don’t like to be touched. It truly makes me very uncomfortable. I don’t respond well to it because I feel invaded or that I am invading someone else. That feeling leaves me awkward and uncomfortable. I will hug when it is appropriate, but I don’t think that is a bad thing, just as I don’t think that people who need to hug incessantly or touch constantly are bad. But there is a discernment that is needed when dealing with anyone and everyone. We aren’t all the same and so we shouldn’t be out there trying to make someone conform to who and how we are because it’s better/easier for us. We should be respectful and loving by acknowledging that we are all different and need to be treated differently. Right?
Also, when my family (i.e. mother, sisters, sister-in-laws, nieces, etc) want to touch my stomach, it’s an entirely different situation. At least with those that I am close with, as in I talk to them regularly. There is an intimacy there that isn’t present in others. There is a different sort of camaraderie and closeness there. Not that I am not close to people outside of my family, but you must acknowledge that family is different. They are there – permanently. If my brothers wanted to rub my stomach………Well that would be a little awkward for me. If I ever have a brother-in-law and he wanted to, I would not really be okay with that. Girls are definitely different from boys!
Okay…….Rant done….I promise! I really didn’t mean to write that much!!
How Far Along? 29 weeks….7 months and 1 week..
Sex and/or Names: It’s a GIRL! Another beautiful Baby girl…No names yet…Although now I am on P in the book – I’m slowly moving through. There is a name that I really like, but Dave is on the fence, so it’s not being disclosed yet….Patience! 😉
Total weight gain: 2 pounds still. I haven’t gained anything in the last 3 weeks, so that’s exciting! Although, I am pretty overweight (even was before I got pregnant), so I am going to have to work on that! I can still exercise, right?? I may not be able to bend but I can…..Well, I can’t really jump either…My back hurts kind of bad, so I can’t really twist….I can walk. And walk and walk! 🙂
Cravings: McDonald’s ice. But only the ice in my town. That sounds crazy, but I’ve tried it at several other McD’s, and it’s really not the same. The ice here is the perfect amount of thinness and if I go at 10:30 AM, 1 PM or 5:30 PM it’s absolutely perfect and even a little crumbly. I don’t like to chew it but crunch it on the roof of my mouth. It’s DELIGHTFUL. Also, Cool Whip frosting – the orange tub. What is it good on, you ask? A spoon. Just a spoon and nothing else. Go to the store and get some right now……I’ll wait, go on. Oh, just to help you out, scroll to the bottom really fast – I put a picture up just to make it easier.
Aversions: So now that you have that tub of deliciousness in front of you and you are speedily eating it up, let me tell you what grosses me out! 🙂 Um….I have to think on this a bit. I have just been eating the same things over and over, so I haven’t exposed myself much to the possibility of aversions. Actually, fruit. I’m so freaked out that there is going to be a moldy one in there that I can’t even stomach to eat them. i do occasionally have a banana, but even that texture freaks me out a little.
Current Diet: Hmmm….My memory is bad at the moment – you’d think I was pregnant or something! I just said that I eat the same thing over and over and yet this is a hard question to answer! Green veggies…..Potatoes in the form of fries (frozen from home), tater tots, etc – the kind of potatoes in a bag in the freezer section of the store…..Nutella……I just had these Chicken wings (lime and a little spice of some sort) from GFS today and I’m pretty sure they will become a regular part of my diet. Although thinking on them now (and when I was making them) it made me feel a little grossed out. While eating them, though, I could only think about getting more.
Showing/How Big: Awesome size. That’s how big. Awesome size. I love my pregnant belly – especially now that she’s moving more! It’s probably about the size of a basketball and a half? Does that seem too huge? I’m not disproportionate! I, uh, don’t think….?
Maternity clothes? I am definitely going to have to acquire some more maternity jeans because it’s starting to get colder out. I am set on shirts. People have been so generous – giving me their maternity clothes. That’s awesome!
Sleep: I feel like I am sleeping more, but I’m getting up more to go to the bathroom and my back hurts so much that I toss and turn a lot. But, I am going down earlier and waking later which is good. So it’s not so bad! 🙂
Best moment this week: My sweet Maya, just today as I was rocking her for her nap, was laying across my belly (because, really there is no way around that if one wants to be on my lap!). I was talking to her and she suddenly sighed and said, “Ahh, I just love my baby sister. I have to give her a kiss.” She got off my lap, lifted my shirt, gave my belly a kiss, hugged it and sighed again. I melted……Almost to the floor! So sweet! She is going to be so protective of and great with her baby sister! Best moment with Baby 2? Man, I never get tired of feeling her move! It’s just so awesome to feel and know that there is literally life growing inside of me. Through her movements and her reactions to outside stimulus, it’s just awesome to catch a glimpse of her personality.
Movement: A lot. She’s running out of room! Ha! At church Wednesday night she was stepping on a nerve (or something, I’m not even sure if I have nerves at the bottom of my stomach……I should probably take an anatomy class or something!); it was starting to hurt, so I used my hand to force-ably move her up. I literally felt her little feet push against my hand and fight to stay where she was. Hahaha. That was just awesome. I guess that should be in the above section, but ah. You get it. I’m so excited to meet her!
Labor Signs: Nope, nope, nope. I will take these two months, thank you!
Belly Button in or out? In but depending on how her or I sit, it sticks out a little.
What I miss: Freedom of movement. My back has been hurting something fierce just above my tailbone, and when I sneeze it hurts. Likewise, if I’m sitting on the floor with Maya in my lap and try to move side to side it hurts. Kind of a lot. Almost feels like there are two spots where something is popped out that shouldn’t be.
Weekly Wisdom: Embrace the nesting, by all means! That being said, be smart about it. For instance, my preschooler (that word makes me a sad Mommy!) wakes up routinely between 7:30-8. I usually start my cleaning/organizing/what-have-you after she’s in bed at 8:30. That’s seems sound, but If I am going to do a lot or there is a possibility to do a lot, I should start earlier or plan those things for a different day. One of my crazy nesting days I was up until 3 AM getting stuff done. I felt accomplished. I felt awesome. I felt happy. Then I had to wake up 4 hours later and work all day. That was not so smart. So, while nesting is awesome and beautiful, still take care of yourself and be smart about it. It’s okay to plan this stuff out. Despite the lies everyone tries to tell you, planning and organizing really is fun! 🙂
What I am looking forward to: As I am striving to follow my weekly wisdom, I am going to bed after this and have the next two days off. What I am excited about is cleaning out the downstairs closet and organizing it. THEN, going to buy shelves to put into the basement and organizing that stuff! There is no sarcasm there, I am genuinely geeky excited to organize all that stuff! It’s going to look so pretty!!
Milestones: We have officially moved into doctor’s appointments every two weeks. Yikes a bikes! This end part always goes so fast! In two short months I will get to hold and cuddle that beautiful baby girl!
Fruit/Veggie Size of Baby: Baby 2 is about the size of a Butternut Squash; 15.25 inches and 2.5 pounds!
Big Sibling and Baby: Maya really felt Baby 2 move the other day. She was sitting on my lap with her back to me and playing on the Kindle. Well, she wasn’t really on my lap, we were sharing the big chair, she was half on my lap. Anyway, Baby 2 was really active so I took Maya’s hand and put it on my belly. Maya got really still and looked at her hand out of the corner of her eye (so funny!). I asked her if she felt that and she said, “Uh-huh. What was that, Mommy?” I told her that it was her baby sister kicking her hand. She insisted on seeing it and lifted my shirt to watch it very closely. Ever since then at least 3 times a day she will either hug my belly or kiss my belly and each time will touch it and tell me that she felt her baby sister. She is so much more excited now. She talks about baby sister all the time. AT church, during worship if I am holding Maya, she won’t let me raise my hands because I will drop her. But she says that the reason I will drop her is because with just one of my hands holding her, she will squish her baby sister. She takes my hand down and makes me hold her up above my belly so that she doesn’t sit directly on baby sister. She is smitten already – we all are! I can’t wait to see the two of them together!
Next Doctor Visit: August 28th….Maya’s 3rd birthday! Maybe the doctor will give Maya an extra sucker!